Subj: jim craig
Date: 1/25/00 8:52:13 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Doster2
To: KEVIN4VFT

Hi...no, I did not get your prayer request but I have it now..so, consider that done! Prayer helps...it helps more than anything else including all of the advice that you might get from all of us who mean well but somehow can't quite pull it off.

As you know my husband died last year..went into the hosp. on 11/17/99 for removal of a tumor in his colon and he never came home again...he died 1/3/99 from pneumonia and every other antibiotic resistant infection known,& methinks some unknown, to man. By the time he died he was peeing through a tube, pooping thru a tube, receiving nourishment (which his body could no linger absorb) through a tube in his stomach & he was breathing through a tube that was inserted in a hole in his throat. I am totally convinced that the last four wks. of his life were absolute hell & that when he died it was his decision...that he hated the place that modern medicine had transported him to...he was a prisoner...& everything that the doctors had done they did with the best of intentions & at first we agreed to it because there seemed to be some cause for hope but after awhile it became apparent that the was going to die & we couldn't take him home to do so because he was attached to so many machines...oh, & did I mention that his body tissues were breaking down...rotting...so there was no place left to give him the necessary IVs..it was not a place that Stuart, in his worst nightmare, ever thought he would be..nor did I...it just happened ...so gradually yet so quickly that it made your head spin. We had signed a "do not resuscitate" when he transferred from W. Med to Chapman & I am forever thankful to God that we did or the doctors would have continued treating him in vain (they never give up) & he would have remained in that hell even longer.

You & your family are in a very bad place right now & my heart, my prayers & my love are with you all...this may sound trite and then again..although' maybe not ...but let go & let God take over...for all of you. But, then somehow, Kevin, I think you probably already know that. I know that it was my faith in God that got me through those dark days & through this first year after his death. Saying this to you is like preaching to the choir.

Come by the office the next time you are in SA..whenever that is...maybe we can talk.

Until then...my love & prayers to all of you
Pam Cole